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When I was a kid, kids in my neighborhood took halloween seriously. I mean really seriously. After experiencing a modern halloween through the eyes of my daughter, I thought I’d share some thoughts on how to properly “do” halloween. Yes this is late – file it for next year.

Rule #1: Go as a kind of humanoid or anthropmorphised animal. Do not go as some kind of box. Who wants to wear a box all night? If you go to a party, how much fun will you have trying to dance in a box? Can you get into a car and sit down? If not, your costume needs a rethink.

2: Makeup – not masks. There’s the safety/visibility thing. But there is also eating/drinking (if you go to a party) and general level of comfort. Its loads cooler when you use some spirit gum and latex appliances and makeup and you can make facial expressions – than when you simply hide behind a vacuum formed plastic or rubber facade. Plus, you’ll be able to breathe. Exceptions for characters that inherently wear masks – like Darth Vader.

3: Make your costume – don’t buy it. Buy elements, sure. But put them together to create something unique. Last night I saw half a dozen cookie cutter zombies, Darth Vaders, Bobba Fetts, etc… Most of the fun when we were kids was the challenge of coming up with a costume that would out do all of our friends. That took creativity. Especially since most of the ready made stuff available now wasn’t available when I was a kid. If you wanted your guts hanging out you’d buy a mop head and spray paint it red and hang it out a tear in your shirt or something. That was fine. FWIW, I have a double candy for home made costumes policy at our house.

4: I hesitate to mention this one – if you’re not going to be home on halloween, or you don’t want to play – fine – turn out all the lights. Saves time for the kids and your house is LESS likely to be vandalized. When I was a kid, people who didn’t play and left their lights on got their windows soaped and their trees TP’d. Er – so I heard. If you are gonna play – put a jack-o-lantern on the porch. That’s kind of a nice hobo sign that makes it easy to see who is in.

5: Trick or Treating is to be done in the dark. That’s the point. Kids get flashlights, glow sticks, whatever and go door to door in the dark – when they’re most likely to get scared. I appreciate the retail areas having daytime activities – but this is warmup. The real event is finding a stereotypical suburban neighborhood and running from door to door in the dark where you can scare yourself and your friends silly while stocking up on enough candy to last until Christmas.

6: Final beef. Halloween is supposed to be scary. Efforts by the care bear crowd to make it cutesy are not appreciated. When I lived in the ‘burbs and had a steady stream of victims I worked hard to make the house truly frightening to approach. I considered it a triumph if small kids refused to approach without a parent. Bonus if little ones cried. Being scared is fun – like campfire ghost stories and death defying roller coasters are fun. About my third year of this I had people drive up, park across the street – visit my house – get in their car and drive away. This is the sign of a truly successful house. I know not everyone can go to this level – but do try to make your house a little creepy – put a colored bulb in the porch light and carve a scary pumpkin or two. If you have a scary sound effects record – put it on.

Happy Halloween

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